Bachelor Live Blog: Episode 2
Last week the 25 hand-picked women were unfurled at Sean's behest. 
And after 25 skits, songs and some general drunken tomfoolery, the harem was whittled down to a manageable 19 women.
What we don't have is Ashley P, who, I assume, is spending every single waking moment watching a clock countdown to the premiere of Bachelor Pad, where she'll realize her ultimate duel destiny as the best reality contestant of all time and the instigation for middle America to ban 50 Shades of Grey.
Tonight, though? A TORNADO OF NEGATIVITY!
7:04 - Quote without comment: "Having one arm doesn't prevent me from having fun."
7:05 - Our first chopper sighting (RIP Landon) of the season. Some people want to be president, others want to be a fireman. Me? I just want 1/2 of the ABC helicopter budget for the Bachelor.
7:06 - Another Quote without comment: "My ability to love someone is not effected by how many hands I have."
7:14 - Your hands are trembling Sean? Nice, ya jerk. Now is NOT the time.
7:21 - Sean does consider himself a man. Glad we got that hammered out.
7:36 - Kristy. A Ford model? Or a model you can have in the back of a Ford. HIYOO.
7:47 - ARRRIIIIEEE... Get back here. Sean forgot all the kissing lessons you taught him last week. He was doing the thing where he doesn't tilt his head again.
7:58 - It's so Yoga to not want to compete. What in the hell did she think this was? Take your mat and your participation ribbon and head downward dog. Or home. Whatever.
8:12 - So Sean's 'thing' is pulling pranks on his ladies (remember the stuffed animals at mom's house?) and he seemingly gets one over on Desiree. Or does he? Seems to me that she was a little too calm in the face of ruining a million dollar art piece. Like I always say: never trust a Desiree, unless it's for rapid counting of dollar bills.
8:31 - I'm no Aditi Jaggi Rastogi or anything, but I'm thinking that the wedding dress was much worse than the black/white Seinfeld cookie special. Always look to the cookie... unless it's for fashion.
CUT - Brooke, Diana (who would have been great for a 2 kid reveal), Katie (quit)
NEXT WEEK - Stuffed animals, acoustic guitars, vertical face kissing, stair sabotage.
